OJ&B Salutes The Star Spangled 'Kini!

I can honestly say that nothing makes me happier than seeing a good ol' fashioned star spangled 'kini every single 4th of July . I f...

I can honestly say that nothing makes me happier than seeing a good ol' fashioned star spangled 'kini every single 4th of July. I find them absolutely HILARIOUS! There is nothing funnier than a patriotic hoochie showing of her goods and her love for her country all at the same time.

I have gathered an army of 'kini clad ladies that let their liberty bells hang out so their freedom can ring. In the words of Jennifer Coolidge in Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde, "You look like the 4th of July! Makes me want a hotdog reaaal bad!"

Above: Cindy Crawford says "Stars and Stripes Forever" in her spangled 'kini.

Above: Gisele Bündchen looks like a fierce firecracker in her 'kini made of tiny sparkly American flags. Oh, and also note the matching 2002 Nokia phone with patriotic faceplate. She betta werk those electonic sounding ringtones!

Above: Raquel Welch better get it in her star spangled monokini, gloves and cowboy hat. She was so a head of the curve with that monokini!

Above: To quote Slim Shady, "Jessica Simpson, looks oh so temptin' on this cover of GQ that she did in her spangled 'kini.

Above: Pamela Anderson is just showing everyone what an typical American Woman looks like, right? Now that I look at it, she totally is rocking Raquel Welch's gloves, hat and boots. Was that Pam digging through her laundry?

Above: Hi, hi Miss American Pie! Remember these girls from the hit teen movie American Pie? Why is Mena Suvari (far right) always at Fashion Week ? I really just wanted to show this picture because it had Tara Reid a.k.a Taradise in it. Also, why is Alyson Hannigan (far Left) the only one who is not spangled? I am disappointed!

Above: How can you have a salute to the star spangled 'kini and not have a pic of Heidi Montag pre surgeries? Spiedi was the American Dream.

Above: Recently, Gretchen Rossi, one of the Housewives of Orange County (which I never watch), wore a star spangled 'kini. It was not so much spangled as she just had one big star on her who-ha. Luckily she wore this 'kini or I would have never blogged about her.

And now for the grand finale. You know the part where they shoot off all the fireworks at once?

Above: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That is really all I have to say about this monokini and this patriotic hoochie. I better not see you watchin' the crackas this weekend wearing that and some junderwear and boots thinking you look cute.


Also thanks to all who serve and have served in the military!!!
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